Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you inspire me to be a worse person
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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