Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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