he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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