it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
