So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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