Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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