she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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