Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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