his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
