so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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