So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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