Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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