Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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