Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
