WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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