DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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