i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
