just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
