he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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