hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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