New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
