oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
