how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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