i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you win again, gameday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
