Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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