I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
