I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
