Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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