I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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