So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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