I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
