we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
