When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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