I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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