It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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