i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
