i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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