Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
