For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
