Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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