its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
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Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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