1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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