okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize