There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
