Got a toothbrush?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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