I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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