Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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