no, he came in my armpit
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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