I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
