I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize