He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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