I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize