i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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