i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
