quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
