I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
