I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You made out with two different species that night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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