remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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