I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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