In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
