Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
