She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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