I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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