Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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