I accidentally burped into my bong.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
